The Adventures of the Immortal Captain Jack
by invisiblemirage
Summary: Random oneshots about what Jack does and who he meets with his immortality. Sweeney Todd. Indiana Jones. Anything can happen. Rated T just incase. Suggestions and Requests welcome.
1. Seeing Sweeney

Mrs. Lovett found herself catering to an unusual costumer in her pie shop that drizzly morning. He was most definitely a new costumer; she would have recognized him. He was . . . unique to say the least. He wore a captain's hat and a long coat that looked as if it belonged in the century or two. A sword hung at his side, and a gun was tucked into his jacket. A red and white sash was wrapped around his -she guessed- muscular waist.

He was rather handsome, she thought to herself. Although he bore a strange resemblance to Mr. Todd, he did not surpass him in her eyes. "Name?"

"Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please."

"And what kind of pies do you fancy, Mr. Sparrow?" She inquired.

"Captain."

"Captain." she repeated. If there was one thing she had learned, it was not to tick off a costumer with a sword hanging from his belt. "Now if you please, Captain Sparrow, would you tell me what kind of pies you would like? May I suggest the meat?"

Captain Jack grimaced. "No thank you. I prefer things like Pizzaro used to make. I've never met him, but I love his pies."

"Pizzaro." Mrs. Lovett gave him a blank look. "Never heard of him."

"You don't leave this shop much, do you?" Jack asked her.

She sighed. "What do you want to order?"

"Well since I can't get something like Pizzaro, I'll order some apple pies and maybe a blueberry raspberry strawberry. Haven't had one of those in quite a while."

"Fresh baked or to go?"

"Fresh. I'll be in London for a little while."

"Come back at six to pick them up."

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6:00

Dusk was falling. It was still drizzly. Jack had found his way back to the pies shop. Hunger occupied his belly, and he could almost smell the pies. It was true; the breeze carried a hint of apples and lemon and. . . some type of meat Jack couldn't place. He found it distasteful to his senses, though.

He walked on the cobblestones to the shop. A little bell rang as he opened the door. He walked to the counter, where Mrs. Lovett was waiting.

"You're back." She smiled, sort of.

"Yes, I am. Back and hungry. Where are my pies?"

Mrs. Lovett went to get them. A strange odor drifted from the kitchen. Briefly, Jack wondered if this place really did have the reputation of having "the worst pies in London". After all, it smelled like burning flesh in there. Jack shuddered, wishing that woman would return with his pies so he could pay and leave.

She came back a moment later, carrying boxes with his pies inside. The stink filled Jack's nostrils.

"What do you have baking in that kitchen, woman?" Jack inquired, trying to hold his breath, but not look like he was doing it.

A man with a very pale face and evil eyes entered the room. His presence commanded Jack's attention. He had a fearsome look on his face, and a white streak dashed through his jet black hair.

Mrs. Lovett smiled. "Mr. Todd! I was beginning to believe I wouldn't be seeing you today."

"Mmhmm." He appeared mildly interested, but barely.

Never one to be completely subtle, Jack blurted: "You resemble the devil."

Sweeney Todd's icy grin never reached his eyes. "So some say."

His glare chilled Jack to the spine. He desperately wanted to leave. He fingered in his pocket, found some money, and plopped it on the table.

He placed his hand on the hilt of his pistol out of habit. Thoughts flew madly around his mind. Suddenly, he realized something Mr. Todd didn't want him to know.

He spun, anger in his eyes and rage in his heart.

"I know who you are."

Sweeney Todd calmly polished a knife he had picked up from Mrs. Lovett. "Do you?"

Jack's glare intensified. "You are the most murderous wretch I have ever met. Because of you, the love of my life is dead."

Sweeney Todd's expression didn't change, but the evil smile in his eyes grew. "Is she? That's too bad."

Fire fumed in Captain Jack's eyes. "You killed her brother and her father. The pain was unbearable for her. I held her every night as the grief crushed her. I swore I would unleash revenge on the man who caused this pain. My determination was only strengthened when she killed herself to escape from the pain. And here you are."

Sweeney Todd took a step back. His eyes glowed red with a bloodthirsty evil Jack had only seen once before, in the eyes of Davy Jones.

"So what do you expect to do? Killing me won't bring you little lover back."

"Mr. Todd!" Mrs. Lovett said. "Why bother wasting your breath? The man is obviously deranged. . H e has no clue what he's talking about, I mean, just look at the way he moves when he talks. I believe the sun has fried his brain a bit."

Jack rolled his eyes. That wasn't the first time he had heard that. He reached for his pistol and cocked it. "Prepare to leave this world, Todd."

Sweeney Todd laughed a cold, cruel laugh. The gun was pointed right at his chest, and he felt no fear. "You think you can kill the devil, Mr. Sparrow?"

"Captain!"

"Captain, then."

"Mr. Todd!" Mrs. Lovett protested. "I do not consider you the devil. No matter how many heads roll, you 're still flawless in my heart."

"That love is disturbing." Captain Jack stated. "He's the devil no matter what you say, woman."

"Everyone deserves to die! Even you, Captain Sparrow, even I! I killed her father and her brother, and now you will join them in the grave!" Sweeney Todd's voice rang out in the shop. "I will take your life from you!"

"I think not!" Sparrow quickly jumped back as Sweeney Todd flung the knife he had been polishing at him.

Silver flashed through the air and the knife forced itself into the wooden wall in the other side of the shop. The knife, now embedded in the wall, served as an extra tool for Jack, who attempted to pull it out of the wall and fling it back at Sweeney Todd, or would have, except for the fact the knife refused to come out. He tugged a little harder, remembering the time he had met Will Turner and had tried to remove the sword he had thrown at him from the door of the blacksmith's shop door. Strangely, this event had similarities, although Jack doubted he and Sweeney Todd would come out as friends. He wanted Mr. Todd to come out dead.

Sweeney Todd pulled out a razor seemingly from nowhere as Jack finally got the knife out of the wall. He threw it back at Sweeney Todd, narrowly missing Mrs. Lovett's head.

"These are my friends. See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light. . . "

"What on earth has possessed you to sing at a time like this?" Captain Jack wondered. Sweeney Todd grew stranger with every moment he fought him. Jack did have to admit he had a very nice voice.

Sweeney Todd walked towards Jack, evil roaring in his eye. Jack's lips curled in disgust, and he drew his sword, placing his pistol in his other hand. The metal felt smooth against his palm.

Sweeney Todd spun his razors around in circles, letting light reflect off of them into Jack's eyes. Jack, however, was unaffected, using his sword to return the light to Sweeney Todd. He looked even paler in the light.

Thunder roared outside, and lightning shot like a bullet in the black sky. Rain crashed down, and a torrential downpour washed over the cobblestone street outside.

"Everyone deserves to die! Even you, Captain Sparrow, even I!" Sweeney Todd repeated, this time singing.

"Glad you think so, mate!" Jack aimed his pistol towards Sweeney Todd and fired.

The bullet flew threw the air as if in slow motion. The little bit of candle light left glistened off of the lead as it buried itself in Sweeney Todd's shoulder. Blood spurted from the wound, cascading down in slow motion, splashing in a deep red waterfall on the floor. More oozed out, dripping down Mt. Todd's clothing. His white shirt was stained, his black jacket absorbing the blood.

Time sped up, now, returning to normal. Jack dashed out of Sweeney Todd's way, who seemed to be using power that was not his own. He barreled toward Jack, flinging razors left and right. Jack leaned against a wall in the corner, pausing for a breath.

He peered around the corner. No one was there. He let out a sigh.

Something warm dripped down Jacks face. He touched it. His hand came away red. He thought it was his blood at first, but it wasn't. He looked up.

"Boo." Sweeney Todd grinned an evil grin.

"Ah!" Jack yelped. He drew his sword and stabbed Sweeney Todd's other shoulder. More blood spurted. It crashed down like a miniature waterfall.

Finally, Mr. Todd began to weaken from the loss of blood. Jack pushed him up against the wall, his sword to Todd's neck. He pressed the blade against the jugular vein. "I'm not going to kill you. I feel immense pity for a man like you. However, I will not let you get away with out avenging Isabella's death." He slashed his face with the tip of his sword, letting blood run down and further stain his white shirt. "Now you will bear the mark of the Sparrow." he growled. He punched Sweeney Todd and dashed out the door, leaving his pies behind. He came back, took one bite, and said to Mrs. Lovett, "Despicable! These really are the worst pies in London!"


	2. Shanghai Pirate

A/N: Remember when I said these little chapters would NOT be in historical order

_A/N: Remember when I said these little chapters would NOT be in historical order? Yeah. We're about to take a jump to 1881. . . . to a place called Carson City, Nevada. (This is for all you Shanghai Nooners out there. I love that movie. I just bought it yesterday and watched it today. Yay!! __**Excuse the temporary over excitement.**__) _

Captain Jack had heard about a town in the middle of a country called America one day when he had visited the Bahamas. It was said to have lots of whiskey and more bar maids than Tortuga. His interest had been sparked at the whiskey. One of the perks of becoming immortal after visiting the fountain of youth was that he had become a world-class world-traveled rum and whiskey taster. He believed it to be his calling in life, second only to piracy.

He took the Black Pearl and pointed it toward the direction his compass said Carson City was in. He was definitely in the mood for a new taste of whiskey and women.

It took only a few days to reach the coast of America. He had been to California before, and he always enjoyed visiting it. The sunshine had a different tone than the Caribbean, and it always sort of washed his spirit clean and created a new smile inside him. California was Jack's second favorite place on land.

He hid his ship (after all the encounters with Barbossa, one can never be too careful.) and took a walk. San Francisco wasn't too far away; he managed to get there in a day or two. But, by the time he got there, he was dusty, tired, and sorely in need of rum.

It only took him a moment to locate his favorite bar. He took a seat.

"What'll it be, sir?" the bartender asked him.

"Give me a rum, and make it a big one." Jack said, missing the bars where the barmaids served you instead of burly men.

He served him a glass filled to the very brim with rum. The color reflected in Jack's eyes. He took a long, deep swig, and reveled in the taste of it on his tongue. "Aah."

"So, where are you from?" the bartender asked. "It's my job to make conversation with the customers."

"How pleasant." Jack said dryly, taking another drink. "I suppose you do that all by your lonesome?"

The bartender shrugged. "Nah. When I'm not here, Lucy here takes my place." He motioned to a skinny, very pretty girl across the room who was serving other customers.

"I should have come in over there." Jack laughed.

"I get that a lot. By the way, my name's Rob. This is my bar, called Bar Code."

"How nice for you." Jack said. "I need directions. You see, I'm a bit of a world traveler, and I'm trying to find a city in Nevada."

"Los Vegas?"

"No, but if I ever need to know where that is, I'll come back here." Jack lied. "I need to find Carson City."

"Carson City?"

The man next to Jack looked up. His black hat had been covering his face, but Jack could see he was a bit of a cowboy. He had sun bleached blond hair and a sun tanned face. "I can help you get to Carson City, if you'd like the company. I'm kinda in the business."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, his eyes narrowing in thought.

"You see my partner over there?" He pointed to a Chinese cowboy getting a refill on his beer. "That's my partner. I helped him find Carson City a while ago. He's sort of clumsy and a bit naïve at times, but he's a good guy. We'll take you to Carson City. I was actually headed there myself."

"What for?" Jack asked.

"Beer and women."

""Same reason I'm headed there. Alright, I'll take you up on your offer."

"Just one thing." The man said.

"Don't waste time. Just tell me what it is."

"Tell me your name."

"Tell me yours."

"You're smart. I like that. The name's Roy O'Bannon." Roy offered Jack his hand.

"Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack shook Roy's hand.

"Captain. So what, are you in the army? Navy?" Roy asked.

"Pirate."

"Beg pardon?"

"Pirate captain. I've been captain of my ship for about 100 years now."

"Dang! 100 years? What do you do to get that kind of lifespan? How old are you anyway?"

"The age is my secret. The life immortal can be yours once I get to Carson City. There's something in it for you, and there's something in it for me. Let's go as soon as possible."

Jack stared Roy down with his piratical stare.

"Great! We'll leave tomorrow morning." Roy said. "I'll tell John and we can leave first thing in the morning."

"Why wait?" Jack asked.

"Yeah. . .about that. . .I have a date. Can't stand her up. Oh, and you need a horse, Jackie."

Jack pulled out his pistol and pointed it at Roy's chest. "Don't call me Jackie."

"Point taken. Dang, John and his hair, you and your name. . . I'm taking stranger and stranger people to Carson City every day."

Roy paid for his beer and left to talk to John before going upstairs. Jack could just over hear their conversation.

"Alright, John, we're taking that hundred year old pirate man over there" –At this, Jack rolled his eyes- "to Carson City. So, while I'm on my date tonight, go over there and get to know him. He'll be our traveling companion for a while. Then, we'll never see him again."

"Roy. I know you never do anything unless there is something in it for yourself." John said in his Chinese accent.

"I helped you save Princess Pei Pei didn't I? And then, we divided the money to all those slaves."

"You tried to keep three coins and stole my wife."

"Who you were married to by accident!" Roy said.

"That is not the point." John (whose real name was Chon Wang)

"John. Let me do the talking. We're getting something great for the both of us. He gets to Carson City, and we get to . . . in a manner of speaking. . . live forever."

"Live forever?" Chon said doubtingly.

At this point, Jack decided his drink was more interesting than Roy and Chon.

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The next morning, they headed out. Roy brought Jack a black gelding named Spirit, and the three of them rode off toward the horizon in true cowboy fashion.

Jack had never ridden a horse before, but he was doing surprisingly well. He bit back his pride and let Roy instruct him. Getting trampled by a gelding really didn't fit into his plans.

They rode hard the first week, letting the horses rest every night and drink at most creeks they passed. They stopped at a few towns with a few bars and sometimes stayed the night. The ride was longer than Jack had expected, but it was also easier.

"So how you taking horse ridin' partner?" Roy asked him. "It's a bit harder than you thought, huh?"

Jack shook his head. "No." He'd never let on that his legs were positively slaughtering him with pain.

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The ride took the better part of a month. Jack soon found his companions very boring. They just weren't on the same intellectual level as he was. They were good people, mostly, but they just hadn't clicked yet. At least the ride would be almost over soon.

"How much farther to Carson City?" he asked, pretending to be interested.

"It's just over those mountains there." Roy pointed.

"Don't lie to him, Roy." Chon said. He turned to Jack. "When I was looking for Carson City, Roy was buried in a whole in the ground, and I needed directions. He gave me wrong directions over the mountains, where I got married."

"Interesting." Jack said. "how long had you been in America at that point?"

"4 days."

"Wow." Jack whistled.

"I know you think I'm lying, but Carson City really is over those mountains." Roy insisted. "Just wait, you'll see."

"Alright." Chon consented.

They had crossed over the mountains in just another day.

"We're really making good time. That's weird." Roy said aloud.

"What do you mean?" Chon asked.

"These mountains usually take at least two days to cross!" Roy added, seemingly not hearing Chon.

"I must be lucky." Jack said.

"So what's your secret?" Roy asked. "I mean, you said you became a pirate captain about a hundred years ago. Unless, you're like, immortal or something," Roy laughed "you're really weird."

"I am, for a fact, immortal."

"Yeah right."

Jack shrugged. "Alright. But know, always, you passed up eternal life on earth."

"Eternal life on earth? Please, Jack. I'm invincible. I'm not going to die." Roy laughed.

"What if I pushed you off your horse and then spooked it? When it tramples you, you would be dead."

"I'd appreciate if you didn't try to push me off, Jack." Roy said. He whispered under his breath, "I'm still invincible."

"And I'm still immortal." Jack grinned.

"You heard that?" Roy asked sheepishly.

"Yep, partner." The words sounded funny in Jack's British accent.

"Alright, I'll take my chances on your story. Give me directions to your Fountain of Youth when we get back to Carson City, and I'll give it a whirl. At the very least, it's good for another adventure."

"That it is, that it is." Jack said.

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They reached Carson City by nightfall. The lights lit up the dusty streets and people walked from house to store to saloon.

"Well, I guess this is where we part ways." Roy said. "It was very nice getting to know you, Jack. Maybe we'll see each other again sometime."

"Maybe." Jack replied. He could take or leave seeing them again, although he had a sneaking suspicion he'd enjoy the company.

Chon tipped his hat. "Goodbye, partner."

Jack tipped his. "Goodbye, John."

AS he went on his way to sample the first saloon, he turned and said, "You'll see me again. Be sure of it."


End file.
